


sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell)

by harlequin421



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, lots of kisses, some slight fluff, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6907927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus made him feel good. He just wanted to hold on to that for as long as he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been like three years since I've written any male/male fic so sorry if it's really bad?? But I couldn't help myself, malec has taken over my life. This was supposed to be a 5+1 times that magnus kissed alec, but it turned into this and I couldn't stop it?? dedicated to my darling dara for encouraging me to read the books after i started gushing about harry shum jr as magnus though, they were what really inspired me to write more kisses

 

"For almost a century, I've closed myself off from feeling anything for anyone, man or woman. You've unlocked something in me."

 

Alec didn't know what to say. Magnus spoke the words softly, but assuredly leaving no doubt as to their meaning, which was something that Alec appreciated since being around Magnus made him feel confused and out of his element.

 

So naturally, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. " _How_? I'm not special. I've never even kissed anyone before."

 

Magnus looked up from where his gaze had fallen to the floor the more Alec stayed silent after his declaration. He looked confused, and astonished as though he couldn't believe what Alec was saying.

 

Before he could say anything, Alec's phone rang loud and sharp over the music playing softly in the background.

 

Alec jumped a little, but instead of reaching for his phone he felt as though he was frozen. In the last couple of seconds, Magnus had stepped closer, and with a sharp snap of his fingers the ringing stopped.

 

Alec didn't step back.

 

Magnus was a bit shorter than him, but then again there weren't much people that were taller than he was.

 

He kept stepping closer, until their feet were almost overlapping, and Alec could feel the heat that was pouring off him in waves. This close Alec could smell him, the sharp ozone scent that came from using magic, sandalwood, and something else underneath all of that that made Alec's mouth water.

 

He inhaled sharply when he felt Magnus' fingers sliding up his arms, and his heartbeat pounded in his ears hard. He was sure that Magnus could hear it.

 

Alec swallowed hard feeling as though there was something stuck in his throat and kept his eyes on Magnus' afraid to break this spell the warlock seemed to have him under.

 

Magnus tipped his head back, and the space between their faces was drastically reduced.

 

"Never been kissed, huh?" he whispered into the small space between them, hot breath curling up Alec's neck and behind his ears making him shiver.

 

Alec swallowed, this time it felt as though he was trying to swallow something sharp.

 

Alec opened his mouth to say something, anything at all, but no sounds came out.

 

"I think we can remedy that, don't you?" This time the words were even softer, and whispered right up against the underside of Alec's chin.

 

Alec's eyes shuddered close as Magnus' mouth touched his chin.

 

Alec was pretty sure that the twinkling crashing sound was his drink hitting the floor, but none of that mattered as Magnus pressed a fingertip to Alec's chin titling his face down a little as his lips found Alec's.

 

Alec inhaled sharply, and Magnus pressed closer, sliding the fingers of one hand across Alec's jaw fingers leaving sparks in their wake. His other hand was tangled in the sleeves of Alec's shirt pressing into the warm skin underneath.

 

The kiss was chaste and gentle, only a soft brush of lips against lips.

 

But Alec felt as though he'd been cracked open. His eyes were wide, and his heart was beating way too fast, and he knew that he wasn't breathing, but all he could concentrate on was the way Magnus' eyes fluttered shut, the way they were so close he could count his individual eyelashes.

 

It took him a second to realize that he hadn't actually responded, not knowing what to do.

 

Magnus pulled back eyes opening, brow furrowing, and Alec followed him hands coming up to press against the small of Magnus' back, keeping the distance between them minimal.

 

Magnus smiled, a smile that Alec had never seen on his face, and he kissed Alec again.

 

This time was decidedly less chaste. Magnus opened his mouth and cradled Alec's bottom lip between his lips, and Alec felt the hint of teeth, and his fingers tightened and he dragged Magnus' shirt up with one hand the other following behind touching hot, smooth skin making Magnus jump a little.

 

Alec could feel a smile curling at the edges of his mouth at the fact that he'd startled the warlock, but the touch seemed to change something in Magnus.

 

He pushed and wound the fingers of one hand into the back of Alec's head keeping him close and steering him with his hand around his bicep until Alec felt the back of the couch against his thighs.

 

Magnus fell against him then, body pressed close to Alec's. Magnus opened Alec's mouth and slid his tongue along his bottom lip.

 

Alec's hands splayed across the small of his back under his shirt tugged him even closer fingers digging into his spine.

 

He didn't know what he was doing. He just didn't want Magnus to stop.

 

As though to defy his thoughts, Magnus pulled back, and smiled at Alec, mouth red and wet and swollen.

 

"Are you going to get that?"

 

It was then that Alec realized that the ringing was not just in his own head.

 

His phone was still ringing.

 

He let go of Magnus quickly as though he'd been burned, and there was a brief flash of hurt in Magnus' eyes before he'd stepped back, and had turned to give Alec some privacy while he took his call.

 

Alec watched him as he breathed heavily, and the muscles in his back moved as he started to prepare another drink for himself.

 

He answered his phone almost on autopilot and was rapidly brought back crashing down to earth by his mother's voice in his ear.

 

He hardly listened to her as his eyes had drifted back to Magnus who was leaning against his windows, one arm crossed across his chest, fingers gripping his elbow, the tumbler of scotch was hanging precariously from the fingers of his other hand. He was looking at Alec, but in a way that no one ever looked at him.

 

It was usually Izzy or Jace who got this type of attention. It was almost like a physical caress the way that Magnus' eyes swept him from head to toe, up and down lazily, a smile on his mouth, and lust in his eyes.

 

Alec's mouth was dry, and his pulse was still thudding in his ears, but sluggishly. He wanted to do nothing else but hang up the phone and kiss Magnus again.

 

But his mother's words were getting to him, so he looked away from Magnus and told her that he was on his way home, and only lowered the phone after she'd hung up not even bothering to wait for him to say I love you, too.

 

He put the phone back in his pocket, and looked over to where Magnus was still leaning against the windows, but there was a rueful lilt to his mouth, and his eyes had all but lost the heat from just seconds before.

 

"Duty calls," Alec said, and his voice came out raspy and rough and he hoped that he didn't sound like that while talking to his mother.

 

"Oh," Magnus said and pushed himself off the windows walking closer. "The furrowed brow. Maryse must be recruiting you for something unseemly."

 

Alec resolutely didn't think about what Isabelle told him, or what his mother could possibly want to discuss once he'd gotten back.

 

"Listen, Magnus, I wish I could, I mean, I just, I don't know…"

 

Magnus shushed him bringing his finger up to just barely touch Alec's bottom lip.

 

"I understand," he said softly smiling at Alec from underneath his eyelashes before he was moving his hand away and snapping his fingers again and this time another glass appeared for Alec already served, and with the blue smoke swirling on the top. "Why don't you stay for one more drink and then decide?"

 

Alec stayed for more than one more drink.

 

One drink turned into two turned into four turned into six and before Alec knew it he was leaning back against the arm of the couch and laughing hard at a story Magnus was telling him about one of his warlock friends that Alec was probably not going to remember the details of in the morning, other than the fact that it was funny.

 

The first drink had been awful, and the second one wasn't much better, but by the fourth Alec wasn't really tasting the liquor anymore, and he was more and more intoxicated with Magnus' presence than the actual alcohol.

 

He felt amazing and Magnus was practically sitting on his lap with his legs tucked under himself laughing along with Alec and making sure that he didn't fall over the arm of the couch with magic that buzzed against his skin playfully and reached out with his actual hand grabbing Alec by the front of his shirt and tugging him back to a less precarious position that brought their faces as close as they'd been since they'd kiss.

 

Alec's eyes dropped to Magnus' mouth immediately which was wet from the drinks, but wasn't red, or kiss swollen, and that was really a pity.

 

"Alexander," Magnus said, and his voice caught somewhere in the middle, and Alec leaned in and missed his mark by at least three inches.

 

His mouth landed on Magnus' cheek, and Magnus huffed out a breath that Alec felt against his temple, and he pressed his forehead hard against the side of Magnus' face.

 

"Magnus," he said back mouth sliding down to the corner of his jaw.

 

Magnus' breath hitched, and one of his hands was on his back rucking up his shirt and fingers gripping Alec's hair tightly as though to keep him still.

 

"What are you doing?" he asked breathlessly.

 

Alec pressed a kiss to the underside of Magnus' jaw. "I'm kissing you," he huffed out.

 

Magnus shivered and his fingers tightened in Alec's hair. "I'm pretty sure you missed by a couple of inches."

 

Alec dragged his mouth down to Magnus' neck in defiance, and Magnus' other hand joined the first dragging Alec's mouth away from his neck before he could actually do anything.

 

Alec felt as though the entire world was spinning, and Magnus was the only thing keeping him still.

 

Magnus' face went soft, and he leaned in pressing their mouths together softly, gently, almost achingly sweet and full of longing.

 

But Alec didn't want slow or gentle or sweet.

 

He deepened the kiss, pressing closer, pushing back.

 

Magnus fell back on the couch, dragging Alec with him, unfurling his long legs and cradling Alec's waist in the space between his thighs.

 

Alec pressed closer, shuddering at the way that Magnus' body accommodated him.

 

Alec's mouth fell from Magnus' wet to press against the underside of his chin, down and down, until he got to the pulse in his neck, and could feel the rapid flutter of the blood rushing through his veins.

 

Alec bit down, maybe a little too hard.

 

Magnus hissed, his fingers which were lightly running up and down his back dug into his spine, he hitched his legs on either side of Alec's hips body sliding against Alec's.

 

Alec felt himself sink into the space, and when he rocked down just a little, just to see, and sparks exploded behind his eyelids, and it felt _so good_ so Alec did it again, moaning against the skin of Magnus' throat and biting down again, hard and sucking against the skin.

 

" _Alexander_ ," Magnus gasped out hands sliding down to hold on to Alec's hips. "Wait."

 

Alec really didn't want to, but everything in him seized up, and he pulled his mouth away from Magnus' throat to look him in the face, and felt all of the breath being punched out of his lungs.

 

Magnus was looking up at him through lowered lashes, and his eyes were bright gold, shining almost like a cat's in the darkness.

 

"Your eyes," he said voice hushed and rough, fingers brushing right underneath his eye.

 

Magnus closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them they were back to beautiful brown.

 

Alec opened his mouth, confused and wanting to ask why he'd glamoured his eyes up again, but before he could, Magnus was resting his fingers against Alec's face, holding his face between his hands, very carefully as though Alec were something fragile and precious. It made all of the words die and shrivel up in his throat.

 

"I need you to think through the haze of the alcohol and tell me that you actually want to do this now, and that it's not just because you're drunk and it feels good."

 

"What's wrong with that reason?" Alec mumbled but mostly to himself, something that Magnus seemed to realize since he didn't answer Alec's question, just stayed silent and waited and watched while Alec thought about it.

 

If Alec were thinking clearly, he probably wouldn't even be in this position in the first place, and while he wasn't only in this position because he'd been drinking, the alcohol did help a lot, especially since he was still confused about his feelings for _Jace_ let alone for Magnus.

 

He pulled back even more, and Magnus looked resigned as his hands fell down to his chest.

 

Alec sat back on his corner of the couch, and leaned his head hard against the back of the couch.

 

He felt Magnus move, and he could feel the way one of his hands hovered over Alec's shoulder before he dropped his hand and said something about checking in on Luke.

 

Alec shut his eyes tight and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. It felt tender.

 

He could still feel Magnus' pulse against his mouth, could still smell his scent in his nose, could still feel his body pressed close against his.

 

Alec bit down on his lip and tried to stop himself from thinking.

 

He ended up falling asleep.

 

***

 

Magnus opened the door immediately, almost as soon as Alec started knocking on it in tune to his heart racing in his chest.

 

He wasn't exactly sure how fast he'd been going on his way over here, but it had been pretty fast, and he had just needed to get away from the Institute, away from Isabelle, away from Clary and _Jace_.

 

He didn't want to think about it, about how Jace hadn't pushed Clary away, how he'd tugged her close and kissed her like Alec has never seen him kiss anyone else before. And Alec didn't know what he'd been expecting because it was bound to happen sooner or later given the fact that he's _never_ seen Jace act like this around anyone before. And while he knew that Jace would never feel about Alec the way that Alec felt about him, it still hurt. It still caused a bitter taste in his mouth. It still made him irrational and upset.

 

He wasn't even aware that he'd been heading to Magnus' place, but when the warlock opened the door and looked at Alec with pleased and startled wide eyes, and there was a huge dark mark right on his pulse point where Alec had bitten down last night, Alec knew exactly why he came here.

 

Alec reached for him, and didn't even get the chance to be pleasantly surprised at the way that Magnus just went with it and relaxed into his hold letting Alec tug him across the threshold and out of his apartment and onto Alec's chest.

 

Magnus looked up probably to say something flirty and witty, but Alec cut him off with his mouth.

 

Magnus made a soft pleased noise against his mouth, before he was cupping Alec's face in his hands and tilting it to get a better angle. He was pressed all against Alec's front leaning heavily and entirely into the kiss as though he was afraid that Alec was never going to kiss him again.

 

Alec's fingers tightened where they were clenched in the back of Magnus' shirt, and he slid his arms around his waist, standing to his full height and walking across the distance back into Magnus' apartment without breaking the kiss kicking the door closed behind himself.

 

Magnus' feet were barely grazing the floor, and he laughed a little as he pulled away, sliding down Alec's body to set his feet back on solid ground.

 

Alec shivered at the way Magnus' skin felt against his right in the space where their shirts had ridden up, and before he knew it, he had Magnus pressed against the door, mouth latching on to the mark on his throat.

 

Magnus hissed as though he were in pain, and he hitched his thighs on either side of Alec's hips, and his hands were on Alec's ass pulling him even closer.

 

Alec bit down harder on his neck, and Magnus let out a low moan, and bucked his hips against Alec's.

 

Alec pulled away then and just looked at him. Magnus was panting, and his eyes were gold and wide, and he was looking at Alec as though he was the answer to all of his prayers.

 

"Not that I'm complaining," he said in a breathless voice making Alec feel a smug sense of satisfaction. "But what was that for?"

 

Alec felt a stab of guilt, but he pushed it away along with his thoughts about Clary and Jace and how much it all hurt.

 

Magnus made him feel good. He just wanted to hold on to that for as long as he could.

 

"I just wanted to see you," he said instead, and it was only partially a lie.

 

Alec hadn't stopped thinking about Magnus since this morning.

 

He'd woken up and Magnus had offered him coffee and breakfast, but Alec just took the coffee and left as fast as possible, not even looking at Magnus in the eye as he did.

 

He knew that leaving like that and coming back like this was bound to be confusing Magnus, but to be fair, Magnus confused Alec every time they had an interaction.

 

Magnus smiled at him at the words, slow and sweet, and then he'd cupped Alec's face in his hands and tugged him back in for a kiss.

 

This time slow and gentle, almost like their first, but nothing like it at the same time because this time Alec kissed back, this time when he pressed in close their bodies aligned just right and he could feel _everything_.

 

Magnus gasped pulling away wetly, and he tugged against Alec's hair as Alec began to slowly grind against him. It felt so, so _good_ , and Alec had never known that this could feel like _this._ By all rights it should be uncomfortable with all the rough layers rubbing against his erection, but it just made it feel that much more intense.

 

Alec wanted to grind against Magnus until he came in his pants, and he had thought that feeling that way had just been a Jace exaggeration.

 

Magnus tugged his head sharply to the side as Alec pressed closer grinding into him.

 

His mouth pressed right in the corner of Alec's jaw, right below his ear and above the deflection rune, and he muttered something about it not being fair, and before Alec could ask what he meant his mouth was latching on to the spot.

 

Alec gasped and pressed even closer, hips bucking sporadically as he chased his pleasure mindlessly hands pressed against the wall on either side of Magnus' head.

 

Magnus bit down on his neck hard, and his hands scrambled against Alec's back sliding down to cup Alec's ass in his hands and pulling him in in time with his thrusts.

 

Alec was panting harshly, and he knew that there were noises coming out of his mouth that would be embarrassing at any other moment, but right now he didn't care.

 

He gripped the back of Magnus' head and tugged him back. He detached his mouth from Alec's neck, and tilted his head and slid his mouth wetly along Alec's jaw before kissing him on the mouth.

 

Alec kissed him hard and deep pressing him close against the wall, and Magnus just pulled him in tight stilling his movements and making Alec whine low in his throat.

 

Magnus pulled away with a smile on his face. "It's been a while since I've done this."

 

"Done what?" Alec asked still a lot of out of it. He blinked at Magnus slowly and tried to clear his head. There was a feeling as though something was buzzing against his skin. It sent tingles from the roots of his hair to the tips of his fingers and it was making it difficult for him to think clearly.

 

"Grinded against someone until I came in my pants."

 

Alec let out a laugh that sounded too much like a sob and pressed his forehead hard against Magnus', "What am I doing?"

 

"Kissing me and getting me off," Magnus said as though he was remarking on the weather. "And for someone with no experience, you were doing quite well."

 

Alec felt himself flush at the words and he could feel the nerves overtaking his body. He really wanted to continue what he'd been doing, but he knew he shouldn't. He'd come here for all the wrong reasons and while he actually did feel like he wanted Magnus, it wouldn't be fair to him for Alec to do this now.

 

Magnus just pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth as though he knew exactly how Alec was feeling.

 

"We don' t have to do anything you don't want to, Alexander." The words were serious and whispered right against Alec's cheek. Magnus slid his hands up the back of Alec's shirt and ran his warm hand up the length of Alec's back soothingly.

 

Alec closed his eyes and felt himself relax. He hadn't realized how tense he had gotten. The buzzing was all but gone, and he could feel himself unwind, and just take a breath.

 

"It's not that I don't, I mean, I want, it's just that…"

 

Magnus cut him off with another kiss, this time on the mouth quick and fast. Then he was pulling away from Alec and smiling as he pushed him back firmly.

 

Alec helped Magnus to his feet and stepped back quickly.

 

Magnus just shook his head and let out a breath, as though he were trying to center himself. Alec could relate.

 

"How about a drink?" He didn't wait for Alec to answer before he was walking pass him across the room to where his bar was located.

 

Alec stood up straight and curled his fingers into fists at his side. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

He opened his eyes determined to get through the rest of this night without jumping on Magnus, or kissing him, or talking about how he was feeling. Not that there was ever any way that was going to happen, but it was good to be prepared, just in case.

 

He turned and accepted the drink from Magnus and tried not to think about the way he could still feel Magnus pressed against him.

 

***

 

Alec was walking through the halls of the dark Institute, and rubbing his fingers through his hair roughly hoping not to run into anyone when Isabelle had opened the door to the library holding a book in her hand. She looked up startled to see Alec, and then her eyes went wide and she was tugging him into the library and closing the door behind them.

 

"What the hell, Izzy?" Alec hissed at the same time that Isabelle demanded, "What did you _do_?"

 

They both glared at each other.

 

Isabelle broke first. "Tell me you did not sleep with Magnus because of Jace!"

 

Alec shushed her pushing away from the door and looking around the room as though someone were going to pop out of the shadows.

 

"What the _hell_ , Izzy?" he repeated. "Could you speak any louder?"

 

Isabelle just glared at him. "You don't get to play with people's feelings like that Alec."

 

"That's not," he started looking shocked. "We didn't, _nothing_ happened."

 

"Oh yeah?" she said sarcastically. "Then why is there a hickey on your neck! I know you, you won't go to someone you don't know, and Magnus is the only person we know who's into you, so either I don't know you or you went to Magnus' after Clary kissed Jace."

 

"That's not why I went," Alec said hurriedly.

 

Isabelle gave him a shocked look as though she couldn't believe that he actually admitted it.

 

Alec huffed out a breath in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. "I didn't realize I was even going to his place until I got there and I just," he stopped and shrugged helplessly. "I like the way that he makes me feel, okay? That's why I went."

 

 "And nothing else happened?" Isabelle prompted fishing for information, probably wanting to know how much damage she was going to have to deal with. After he'd told her that he'd kissed Magnus and then had promptly freaked out, she had spent the whole night reassuring him that it was okay to feel this way. That there was nothing wrong with him.

 

And now all Alec could do was shrug and run his hands through his hair. "We had drinks, and I," he looked around helplessly before saying in a really low voice. "I kissed him again. Before the drinks. I wanted to do more, but…"

 

"I'm going to stop you right there," Isabelle said nose scrunching up. "I don't need specifics. Just," she nibbled on her lip before stepping closer. "Mom really wants to speak to you about that thing we're not speaking about."

 

"I know," Alec said quietly.

 

"And Magnus _really_ likes you," she continued.

 

Alec felt as though all of the air had been pushed out of his lungs, but he took a deep breath and moved away from her heading for the door.

 

He turned back around as soon as he'd taken two steps away, "I know what my duties are, and what I have to do. I don't get the luxury of acting on my feelings, no matter what it is I'm feeling."

 

He turned back toward the door, and then turned back around. "And for the record, I already knew how Magnus felt about me. He told me himself, and while you seem to think that just because I have no experience means I'm going to be callous doesn't mean I don't have a heart and besides I haven't promised Magnus anything."

 

"But you are," Isabelle said finally breaking her silence. "You're going over there to see him, and giving him hope, and that's cruel when you plan on going through with Mom and Dad's plans."

 

"You have no idea what I plan on doing," Alec snapped back. "I have to think about everyone not just myself, Izzy. It doesn't matter what I feel, you guys are more important."

 

Isabelle threw her arms around him giving him a hug.

 

"Oh big brother," she sighed when he hugged her back immediately. "I just want you to be happy."

 

"I'm happy if you're happy," he mumbled into her hair hugging her tightly.

 

***

 

He convinced himself that's the reason why when Magnus told him to follow his heart, he proposed to Lydia instead. Because his family's happiness came first, no matter what his personal feelings were on the matter.

 

That was also why he convinced himself that it would be better if he had as little interaction as possible with Magnus while he strengthened the wards around the Institute.

 

Alec was pulling his shirt back on, when there was a knock on the door. He sighed, but didn't bother to button his shirt back up when he went to answer the door.

 

He figured that it was probably Isabelle coming to tell him off about how he was acting about Meliorn again, but there really wasn't anything Alec could actually do. His hands were tied.

 

He opened the door, and was surprised to see Magnus standing there.

 

Magnus whose gaze dropped immediately to the strip of skin that was visible because of his open shirt.

 

"Sorry," he said sounding dazed like the first time he'd seen Alec shirtless. "I just came to tell you that I've finished with the wards…"

 

He trailed off, and Alec swallowed hard.

 

Magnus stepped into the room as though he was in a trance, and his fingers snapped and the door shut behind him.

 

He stepped into Alec's space and tipped his head back.

 

"I'm gonna kiss you now," Magnus said in the same voice he'd begun to say, _If anything would have happened to you…_

 

"Okay," Alec breathed and bridged the distance between them pressing his mouth to Magnus'.

 

He couldn't help himself. It was like they were magnets. Alec was drawn to Magnus in a way that he'd never felt, and it scared him and excited him in equal measures.

 

Magnus groaned against his mouth and he tugged Alec in close by the open folds of his shirt. Alec gasped at the sensation of his silk waist coat on his bare chest and pressed closer until he had Magnus pressed against the door.

 

Magnus made a pleased noise in the back of his throat and tilted his head deepening the kiss.

 

Alec forgot all about the reason why he'd been avoiding being alone with Magnus in the first place, and pressed even closer hands coming up and wrinkling the lapels of his jacket.

 

Magnus' fingers slipped to his collarbones painting sparks across his skin and making him moan and he tugged his shirt down over his shoulders.

 

Alec hissed then as the fabric tightened around the wound on his bicep.

 

Magnus slid back, their mouths making an obscene noise in the silence when hey separated.

 

"My offer to heal that is still on the table if you'd like," Magnus offered, and Alec looked down at him, and the reasons why he refused Magnus in the first place came rushing back to him, and he pulled away, taking several steps back until he hit the desk.

 

Magnus straightened from where Alec had pressed him against the door, and smoothed his clothes down.

 

"Honestly Alexander," Magnus said crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at him. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying avoiding me."

 

"I'm not," Alec said immediately. "I just, there's something important I have to tell you."

 

Magnus raised his other eyebrow and just waited expectantly.

 

Alec buttoned his shirt to stall for time, and then ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing trying to think of a way to tell Magnus about his upcoming nuptials.

 

Finally Alec stopped short and looked at Magnus. "I'm getting married," he started, and hated himself with every single word because of the way Magnus' face fell to be replaced with a façade of impassivity.

 

By the time Alec was done explaining, Magnus looked cool and disinterested, and Alec had never seen this look directed at him before.

 

"Well, I have to hand it to you Alexander, you continue to surprise me." He frowned looking away and then looked back at Alec smiling tightly. "Even if the surprises are less than expected."

 

He cleared his throat and Alec stepped closer wanting to wipe the look off his face, but Magnus seemed untouchable at the moment.

 

"I guess there's nothing left for me to do here," he uncrossed his arms and turned to leave. "Good luck with the rest of your life, Alec. You're gonna need it."

 

"Magnus," Alec said shortly stepping closer. He didn't say anything else as Magnus froze and turned around slowly.

 

Alec just looked at him, and Magnus seemed to unravel right before his eyes.

 

"Alexander," he said simply before darting in close and pressing a harsh kiss on Alec's mouth. It was all teeth and mashing mouths, and Alec tasted blood when he gasped and Magnus licked into his mouth.

 

It was over as soon as it began, and then Magnus was over by the door and Alec was blinking dazedly.

 

"Goodbye, Alec," Magnus threw over his shoulder while leaving and it sounded like the end of something.

 

Alec leaned back against the desk and let out a breath dropping his face into his hands.

 

What was he going to do?

 

***

 

Alec knew that it was a bad idea to be left alone with Magnus, but it wasn't like he could help it.

 

He could barely force himself not to say yes and kiss him when Magnus jokingly (or flirtingly) demanded him as a price. He'd forced himself to ask him for anything else because if they crossed that line, Alec was sure that he won't be able to go back, and he needed to do this for his family. Now more than ever.

 

Which was why when Magnus turned to leave having told Alec to keep the bow and arrows safe for him, not even taking the price he'd asked for after Alec had refused the first almost as if he was telling Alec that he'd never take anything that Alec wasn't willing to give him, Alec put his equipment aside and walked swiftly after him.

 

Alec grabbed Magnus around the elbow, and Magnus turned and gave him a sharp look, but let Alec pull him to a corner that Alec knew was one of the camera's blind spots because of Jace and an incident that he preferred not to think about.

 

Magnus let Alec push him against the wall, and his eyes went wide, and before he could really think about it, he kissed him.

 

Magnus melted against the wall, and Alec pressed closer against him, hands gripping the lapels of his suit and pushing him harder against the wall.

 

He knew he really shouldn't be doing this, especially since his wedding was less than a week away, especially since they were in the Institute and _anyone_ could walk by and see them, but Magnus had just looked so sad and defeated, and he didn't leave with Alec's bow and arrows, and Alec just didn't want him to leave without knowing that Alec thought about him constantly, and was constantly wanting to kiss him every single time they were in the same room together.

 

He poured all of that into his kiss, and Magnus was making low wounded sounding noises in the back of his throat and his hands were fluttering around Alec's shoulders as though he was afraid to touch him back.

 

He finally made contact with Alec's shoulders only to push him back.

 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Magnus asked, voice low but cracked open, hurting and vulnerable. Alec felt it as though Magnus had punched him in the stomach.

 

He staggered back, and Magnus' eyes were on him, wide and hurt.

 

Alec wished that he was selfish enough to say fuck  it and take this for himself.

 

Magnus just pressed trembling fingers over his mouth, closing his eyes before he was straightening and tugging on his suit blue sparks smoothing the wrinkled fabric.

 

"I have to go," he said sharply, and didn't even look at Alec as he walked away.

 

Alec turned and watched him leave staggering back against the wall and sliding down until he had his head tucked between his knees, tugging against his hair harshly.

 

***

 

Alec didn't go to Magnus' place with the intention of arguing. He genuinely wanted to know if Magnus had figured out anything about the Jocelyn situation. He'd also gone instead of sending Isabelle, or literally anyone else, because he couldn't help himself. He wanted to see Magnus again.

 

He should've known they would have ended up like this. Magnus pleading with him and Alec lashing out trying to hurt, trying to make him understand that this was what was for the best.

 

Alec's heart was pounding in his ears, and his breath felt like it was stuck in his throat, and he wanted, he _wanted_ so much, but he was getting married, and Magnus was a temptation he had to resist.

 

On this path there would be nothing but heartbreak. He knew it, and Magnus had to have known it as well.

 

Alec was doing what he thought was right, and someday Magnus would come to understand that.

 

He turned back around ready to tell Magnus goodbye, for real this time, but the words got caught up in his throat.

 

Magnus was right there, too close, and before Alec could take a startled step back, he was being kissed.

 

There was desperation, and longing, and Alec can't help but melt into the kiss, arms coming up around Magnus, hands sliding up his shirt and spreading across his back tugging him in.

 

Magnus groaned into the kiss, and bit at Alec's mouth.

 

Alec tugged him closer, and Magnus wrapped his arms tight around Alec's shoulder and leaned into his body almost making them crash to the floor if it wasn't for Alec's permanent balance rune.

 

Magnus pulled back, but Alec chased after his mouth, eyes still closed, hands pressing into his back keeping Magnus still.

 

Magnus cursed in a language that Alec didn't understand before he was leaning in to kiss him again, hands coming up to clench in Alec's hair keeping him still.

 

Magnus pulled away and Alec whined low in his throat.

 

"You are going to be the death of me, Alexander."

 

Alec didn't really know what to say to that, but he was spared from answering when Magnus kissed him again.

 

This time slow and gentle, and he pulled away before Alec could really kiss him back. Alec closed his eyes, and tried to savor the taste of Magnus on his lips.

 

"You have a choice to make," Magnus whispered again, and this time it sounded forced out of him, as though he really didn't want Alec to have to make a choice. "I will not ask again."

 

Alec tried to get his warring emotions under control, but by the time he opened his eyes again, Magnus was gone.

 

***

 

"What are you doing here?" Magnus asked, his voice sounded tired.

 

Alec didn't know what to say. He didn't know the answer to that question. He had felt better after making up with Jace. Their fight had been a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that had been alleviated, but talking to Jace just made him realize how much his feelings had changed since he'd met Magnus.

 

He still loved Jace, but it didn't feel like it did before. Before there was this frustrated feeling of longing for something that he could never, _ever_ have, but now it seemed as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

 

He still looked at Jace and found him attractive, but the almost desperate feeling underneath had disappeared.

 

It reappeared again funnily enough, when Magnus opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, and a matching robe that was left open revealing his smooth chest and stomach, and Alec couldn't help the way that his eyes swept up and down, or the way the blood started pounding through his veins hard and sluggish as though all the blood in his body had been replaced by syrup.

 

He could feel the desperation clawing up his throat, he _wanted_ so, so badly.

 

His fingers curled into fists, and he took a deep breath finally looking at Magnus in the eyes, whose eyes were tired as well.

 

"I have to talk to you."

 

"We have nothing to talk about," Magnus said flippantly leaning against the door frame. He raised an eyebrow, "Unless you've made the decision to choose yourself instead of your family."

 

Alec shook his head sharply. "That's not what I'm here to talk about."

 

Magnus straightened and reached for the door, "Then like I said. We have nothing to talk about."

 

"Magnus, wait," Alec said stepping forward and putting his hand on the door preventing Magnus from closing it.

 

Magnus just looked at him, and Alec stepped closer until there was barely any space between them.

 

"Alec, no," Magnus said voice shaking, but he didn't step back. His eyes dropped down to Alec's mouth and he closed his eyes as though this was physically paining him. "You're not being fair."

 

Alec nodded his head even though Magnus couldn't see him. "I know," he breathed and moved even closer pushing at the door making Magnus let go so that he was clutching nothing but air. "But I just, I just, I want, I don't," he sighed frustrated and walked pass Magnus into his apartment.

 

Alec paced and then turned to look at Magnus, who had turned on his spot by the door, and was leaning against the frame again just looking at Alec waiting for him to get to the point.

 

"I don't want to lose you," Alec finally managed to blurt out.

 

Magnus straightened up again and gave him a sharp look. "Alexander," he said eyes flashing dangerously. "What exactly do you expect from me?"

 

Alec stepped closer. "I can speak to you," he said honestly. "And you understand, and you don't judge or at least not to my face, and I don't want to," he cut himself off and sighed. "Can't we be friends?"

 

Magnus made a weird noise, and then he was laughing. Laughing, loud and a bit hysterically, and he leaned back against the door frame to keep himself from falling to the floor because he was laughing so hard.

 

Alec began to feel uncomfortable, and something vile and hurtful and angry was curling in the pit of his stomach. Why was Magnus _laughing_ at him?

 

He opened his mouth to ask that when Magnus' laugh trailed off and his eyes were bright with unshed tears and he smiled sadly at Alec making the words stick to his throat.

 

"I'm afraid it's too late for that Alexander."

 

"What do you mean?" Alec asked confused.

 

Magnus stepped in close slowly as though he were afraid of scaring Alec, and when he was close enough he reached for Alec's hand wrapping his fingers around his wrist, and tugged.

 

Alec felt himself flush at the simple touch, and his stomach clenched and he was hit with the urge to cross the distance between them and kiss him.

 

"I want you," Magnus said voice low and steady and honest. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything."

 

He reached out with his other hand and brushed Alec's hair away from his forehead, and Alec's eyes closed shut.

 

"But more than that, I want to be with you. I want to know how you look when you first wake up in the mornings. I want to know how you would look making coffee in my kitchen with the first rays of sunlight brightening your way."

 

Magnus cupped Alec's cheek in his hand, and Alec couldn't help but lean into it, sighing slightly.

 

"I want to know what your favorite book is, and who was the first person to take your breath away. I want to fight alongside you and keep you safe. I want to cook for you, and take you out and show you off, and be there with you for as long as you want me by your side."

 

"Forever then," Alec whispered without thinking, getting lost in the moment and Magnus' presence.

 

Magnus made a noise that sounded like surrender, and then Alec was being kissed, and he made a startled noise because he didn't expect to ever get another kiss from Magnus again.

 

Alec moaned desperately and reeled Magnus in closer hands on his shoulders as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's shoulders and tugged him down to his level.

 

Magnus didn't slow the kiss and he let Alec take over the kiss, licking into his mouth and kissing him over and over, and deeper and pushing and pulling until they fell on to the couch Magnus warm and heavy on his lap, knees bracketing Alec's thighs hands clenching the back of the couch as he smiled before leaning down and taking Alec's breath away all over again.

 

Alec lost track of time somewhere between Magnus' mouth sliding down his neck, and Magnus taking Alec's shirt off and pressing another dizzying kiss to his mouth.

 

Alec's hands gripped the silky fabric of his robe and tugged at it, until Magnus was sliding it down his arm, and throwing it in the same direction he'd tossed Alec's shirt, mouth never leaving Alec's.

 

Alec groaned at the overwhelming sensation, and Magnus carefully pressed their chests together wrapping his arms around Alec's shoulders, and all Alec felt was smooth, hot skin pressing against him.

 

He slid his hands up Magnus' back, and Magnus shivered and bit down hard on his lip.

 

Magnus pulled back and Alec spread his hands out along his back to keep him in place.

 

Magnus just looked at Alec, and Alec could feel his heart pounding in his head drowning out all of the doubts and reasons why he shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be here with Magnus in his lap, kissing him as though this was their last day on earth.

 

Magnus' gaze dropped down to his throat where his pulse was still beating fast, and down to his chest that was still heaving as he tried to catch his breath, and then slid back up and his eyes were liquid gold and black, the pupil blown wide, and he licked his bottom lip before saying in a breathless voice, "I really want you to come in my mouth. If you're getting married tomorrow I wanna be the first person to taste you."

 

Alec's fingers dug into his spine and his hips bucked up and he could feel his cock which had been already half hard from their kisses, fill out, the fabric of his boxers rubbing against it harshly as he whined and bucking is hips.

 

Magnus rode the movement, pressing down, and his eyelids fluttered, and he moaned rubbing his ass right against Alec's cock.

 

"Is that a yes?" Magnus asked voice even more unsteady.

 

"Yes," Alec panted harshly, and he was going to say more, but Magnus was pressing a harsh, quick kiss to his mouth before sliding down off his lap.

 

Alec watched him illuminated by the light spilling from the hallway into the room and coming in from the curtain less windows. It threw shadows over his features, and made everything seem as though it wasn't real.

 

But the feel of Magnus' hands on his knees was real enough. The way he slid his hands up and down his thighs before making quick work of his belt buckle and the zipper on his jeans.

 

Alec hissed as Magnus tugged on his pants pulling them down until his boxers were completely exposed, and Alec shivered from the knowledge that there was only one layer of flimsy cotton separating his cock from Magnus' eyes.

 

Magnus cupped Alec's erection through his boxers, and Alec let out a low moan.

 

"Oh, _Alexander_ ," Magnus said in a low reverent voice as he felt out the shape of Alec's cock through his boxers making Alec's hips push up into the movement.

 

Alec's eyes were shut tight, and his hands were clenched at his sides, and he didn't know what to do.

 

Magnus was going to put his mouth on Alec's cock any second now and Alec had never even had anyone _else_ touch his cock before, and right now it felt _so_ good that Alec was fighting not to come right this second.

 

"Relax," Magnus whispered and his hands cupped Alec's hips, and Alec could feel the tension bleeding out of his body as though Magnus had done something to bring him back from the edge.

 

Alec opened his eyes slowly, unclenching his fists, and Magnus gave him a filthy smile before he was taking Alec's cock out through the slit of his boxers and licking right across the head.

 

Alec almost gave a shout, his hips bucking up, pushing the head of his cock into the warm heat of Magnus' mouth.

 

They both moaned, and Alec's fingers scrambled against the couch until he had the edge of the couch cushion clenched in his hands.

 

Magnus' hands pressed on his hips and he slid Alec's boxers down to where his pants were still trapped around his knees, and then he looked up at Alec through his eyelashes, fingers pressing tightly against the skin of his thighs.

 

Magnus kept eye contact with Alec as he licked Alec's cock from root to tip, and Alec's eyes fluttered shut.

 

 _Nothing_ had ever felt like this _good_ before.

 

His mouth went slack with pleasure as Magnus continued to lick at him getting him all wet, as his fingers dug into Alec's thighs so hard Alec knew he was going to leave bruises behind, and he couldn't stop the flow of words that spilled out of his mouth even if he was trying, and he wasn't trying at all. All of his concentration was on how incredible this felt, and how to stop himself from coming too soon.

 

He never wanted this to end.

 

And then Magnus took one of his balls in his mouth, sucking against it, and his hand was sloppily jerking him off, and it wasn't as tight as Alec did it, but it made Alec's thighs tremble, and made him moan, and look down at Magnus whose eyes were close, and he had this expression on his face as though he was _savoring_ , and Alec moaned even louder, hips bucking up.

 

Magnus moved sliding his open mouth up Alec's cock, and then he gripped the base tightly in one hands pressing Alec's hips down with his other arm, and Alec watched as he opened his mouth wide and took Alec in all the way down to where his hand was clenched around his cock, and then he _sucked._

 

Alec's hands flew to Magnus' hair and he tugged sharply against the strands.

 

Magnus moaned low, and it vibrated all along his cock, sending shivers up the base of his spine, and making him move his hips trying to fuck Magnus' mouth.

 

Magnus pulled away, and Alec whined at the lost and at the line of spit that hung from the head of his cock to Magnus' bottom lip.

 

Magnus licked his lips and smiled filthily at Alec, "You can absolutely fuck my mouth."

 

Alec moaned fingers tightening in Magnus' hair.

 

Magnus laughed, and his hot breath was on Alec's cock making him shiver.

 

Magnus tugged on his cock by the hand still wrapped around it, and jerked him off a few times, making Alec whine in the back of his throat. "Fuck Magnus, _please._ "

 

Magnus made a pleased noise and leaned down and pressed his mouth over the head of Alec's cock swirling his tongue around.

 

Alec's hips stuttered, and he gripped Magnus' hair tighter and pushed him down, mindlessly.

 

Magnus gave a wordless sound of encouragement, and he moved his hands to either side of Alec's hips pulling him towards the edge of the couch and taking all of Alec's cock in his mouth in one swift movement.

 

Alec couldn't help himself, as he planted his feet firmly on the ground and  fucked Magnus' mouth.

 

It felt amazing, and he wanted it to go on forever, and Magnus was making these whimpering sounds every time Alec's cock hit the back of his throat, and Alec let out these sharp, high pitched noises every time he moved and Magnus swirled his tongue around the head of Alec's cock.

 

Magnus' hands were still on Alec's hips and his fingers dug into the flesh as he dragged Alec back in, in time with his thrusts.

 

Alec's fingers clenched harder in Magnus' hair as he felt the wave of heat cresting at the base of his spine, and he was sweating, and his hips were bucking so hard and fast, and he was grinding against Magnus' face, and Magnus just took it, mouth widening, eyes fluttering, moaning low and sweet.

 

Alec didn't last much longer than that. He came, fingers clenched in Magnus' hair keeping him there as Alec bucked his hips against him, riding his orgasm out. His mouth was open in a silent scream, and he could feel Magnus' fingers dig into his hips hard.

 

Magnus sucked him until he was soft and sensitive, and he knew without a doubt that Magnus could get him hard again if he kept going.

 

But it was too, _too_ much for Alec, and he started whimpering, and pulling his hips away, and tugging at Magnus' hair to get him off.

 

Magnus moved then, Alec's cock falling out of his mouth to land on his stomach with a wet sound.

 

Alec tugged on Magnus' hair until Magnus got the hint and was scrambling back up on Alec's lap.

 

The fabric of his silk pants, brushed against the sensitive skin of Alec's thighs and cock, and he shuddered.

 

Magnus pressed in close, and kissed him.

 

Alec kissed him back, licking into his mouth eagerly, and his hands dropped down to Magnus' ass pressing him closer.

 

Alec felt the wet spot in the fabric, and groaned as Magnus began rubbing himself against Alec's abs.

 

He pulled away with a wet smack, and pressed closer to Alec, grinding against him. " _Alexander,_ " he moaned voice low and raspy sending shivers down Alec's spine.

 

He pulled back a little, and just looked at Alec again, this time his mouth was swollen and red, and his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were still gold, and cat like, and it made more shivers run down Alec's spine.

 

Magnus' leaned back, and Alec's hands slid up to his back keeping him steady.

 

Magnus didn't break eye contact with Alec as he licked the palm of his hand sloppily before reaching into his pants and fisting his cock.

 

His eyelashes fluttered close, and his mouth dropped open, and he moaned out Alec's name again, over and over in time to the way he was pulling on his cock.

 

Alec had never seen a more beautiful, more _erotic_ sight in his life.

 

Alec moved his hands, cupping Magnus' hips and sliding his thumbs under the waistband of his pants and tugging them down slightly.

 

Magnus didn't stop stripping his cock, as Alec tugged his pants down.

 

Alec moaned at the sight, of Magnus' cock, and his hand, and slid his hands back and down to cup Magnus's ass and slide the fabric of his pants down the luscious curve. Magnus gave a whimper and pressed closer to Alec, his hand smacking against Alec's stomach as he started moving faster chasing his orgasm.

 

Alec wanted to help, but he was too busy kneading the flesh of his ass, pressing him closer so that he was humping Alec's stomach again.

 

Magnus moved his hand from in between them, and grabbed the back of the couch grinding against Alec's stomach, and leaning down to press a searing kiss over his mouth.

 

Alec's hands slid down in between Magnus' thighs and he rubbed the skin of his perineum with his fingers, and Magnus' hips stuttered against him, and he pulled away from Alec's mouth to bury his face in Alec's throat, biting and sucking against the skin along his jaw, leaving what was sure to be a trail of hickies.

 

There was a sudden clatter to the left of them, and Alec pulled away a little to see what was going on to find that tubes of liquid eyeliner, and lotions, and one packet of lube had appeared beside them as though Magnus had been conjuring the lube and had accidentally conjured the things that had been sitting around it as well, as though he didn't have full control of his abilities when Alec knew the exact opposite.

 

It made Alec feel smug, and brave, and his fingers slid back and skimmed against his entrance, and Magnus jumped in his arms as though he'd been electrocuted.

 

"Stop teasing and get your fingers in me," he growled against the skin of Alec's neck, with a lazy snap of his fingers, Alec's fingers were coated in lube, and Magnus was pushing down against him, his hand coming back to his cock.

 

Alec did as he was told and slid one lubed finger into Magnus.

 

Magnus moaned and grinded down. "More," he panted not even letting Alec adjust to the fact that he was so tight and hot inside.

 

Alec slid two fingers in and Magnus pulled away from Alec's throat.

 

He wrapped his hands around Alec's shoulders and adjusted his hips somehow making Alec's fingers go in deeper, and they brushed against a spot that made Magnus moan low and press down harder.

 

" _More,_ " he whined grinding down on Alec's fingers as though it wasn't enough.

 

Alec slid three fingers into him and got even deeper. He searched and rubbed against Magnus' prostate again, making him groan, "Yes, fuck Alec, just like that. Knew those long fingers would come in handy."

 

Alec moaned at his words, and then moved his other hand to Magnus' cock and tried to shut him up.

 

Magnus' just got even chattier. He grinded back against Alec's fingers while Alec jerked him off, doing everything he liked to do to himself in the privacy of his bedroom.

 

Magnus bounced on his lap, fingers digging into Alec's shoulders, mouth open, and he moaned, and panted, and whispered Alec's name over and over, littering endearments and other words that Alec didn't understand here and there.

 

"Close," he whimpered and pressed closer to Alec burying his face in Alec's shoulder and panting against his collarbones. Alec sped his efforts, tugging on Magnus' cock harder, and pushing his fingers in deeper pressing relentlessly against his prostate.

 

Magnus came with a sob, and he buried his teeth in Alec's shoulder, and Alec felt sparks running up and down his back.

 

Magnus leaned his head against Alec's shoulder moaning pathetically when Alec slid his fingers out.

 

He caught his breath against Alec's shoulder, and leaned bonelessly against him.

 

Alec leaned back against the couch bringing Magnus with him and attempting to catch his breath.

 

Magnus moved against him, and the silky fabric of his pants still stretched across his thighs.

 

He made a pleased noise, but also a noise of discomfort, before snapping his fingers again.

 

This time the towel landed with a splat on Alec's chest making him jump, and cup holding a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste hit him on the shoulder.

 

"Oops," Magnus said breathlessly before he was cleaning his come off of Alec's stomach.

 

He snapped his fingers and suddenly they were both wearing different clothes.

 

Alec was glad that Magnus seemed to own at least one pair of sweatpants even if they were really pink in color. Magnus himself was wearing another pair of silk pajama pants, this time in a dark blue that shimmered, and a soft looking shirt that read 'Say Hey if You're Gay' that just barely covered his stomach.

 

"Carry me to bed?" Magnus asked wrapping his arms around Alec's shoulders and yawning, "I'm too tired to move."

 

Alec did as he was asked, wrapping an arm around Magnus' back and one below his knees and standing up.

 

Magnus nuzzled into his shoulder, and Alec never felt more right, and comfortable with someone in his life.

 

He carried Magnus to bed, and in the dim light it felt almost mystical, as though Magnus were weaving some sort of spell around them, but Magnus was just barely asleep on Alec's shoulder.

 

Alec laid Magnus down carefully, throwing a sheet over him and leaning over to fluff his pillows and make sure he was comfortable.

 

He looked down at Magnus, and their faces were really close together, and Magnus was looking at him with soft eyes, and his mouth was quirked at the edges in an honestly happy smile.

 

"Come're," Magnus mumbled and Alec leaned down even closer and Magnus slid his fingers through Alec's hair and kissed him.

 

The kiss was lazy and slow as though they had all the time in the world. Magnus had never kissed him like that before.

 

He pulled back, and Magnus smiled slow and sweet. "Stay?" he asked voice small and uncertain.

 

Alec leaned down and kissed him again before getting into the bed.

 

***

 

A slight thumping sound startled Alec awake.

 

He opened his eyes slowly, and at first he didn't know where he was. The bed was too comfortable to be his own bed, and the light coming in through the windows was coming in from the wrong side, and the curtains seemed to be shimmering.

 

Alec immediately knew that he was still at Magnus'.

 

He'd spent the night. He could remember things in flashes of heat, and soft skin, and kisses, and bites.

 

He'd come to Magnus' place with the intention of not making him disappear from Alec's life for good, and they ended up having sex.

 

Alec could feel the panic settling in, but before he could work himself up too much, there was a body sliding closer to his, tucking Alec between the safety of its arms, and Alec leaned back hard into Magnus, who just wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and nuzzled into the back of his neck, placing light kisses along his hairline. He leaned even more heavily on top of Alec's body, pressing him into the mattress and tucking his fingers into the waistband of the ridiculously pink sweats Alec was still wearing.

 

"Good morning," he whispered low. His breath made Alec shiver, and for the first time in a long time Alec felt content where he was and not in a hurry to move or do anything. Maybe he should just spend the whole day with Magnus.

 

That's what he's thinking about in his half asleep state when the bedroom door bursts open and Isabelle and Jace fall in, decked out in formal dress and battle gear.

 

Seeing Isabelle in the gold dress she'd chosen for the wedding, and the way that she was looking at Alec with hopeful yet sad eyes reminded him exactly why he shouldn't have let last night happen.

 

He was getting married today.

 

Alec sat up immediately, dislodging Magnus' arm. Their bubble of warmth and contentment had been burst, and Alec knew that this was going to make things much more difficult for himself in the long run. Alec turned to look at Magnus, whose eyes were on Alec and no one else.

 

He must've seen something in his gaze because he just huffed and rolled away from Alec sliding off the bed, and heading towards what looked like the bathroom.

 

Alec turned his gaze back to Isabelle and Jace.

 

While Isabelle looked sad, Jace looked furious. Alec opened his mouth to forestall any incoming argument, but Jace was already speaking.

 

"Call off the wedding." He stated simply, as though it was as easy as that, as though his family's entire reputation wasn't hanging on the balance of this union, as though their home wouldn't be taken away if Alec didn't do this.

 

If Alec didn't do this, the pressure would fall to Isabelle, and Alec was the big brother, he's the protector. He has to do this.

 

"I can't," Alec said, and it sounded defeated even to his own ears.

 

"Do you love him?" Isabelle asked more gently than he expected.

 

Alec looked at her with wide eyes and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

 

"Are you all just going to sit around in my bedroom all day?" Magnus' voice came from the behind them, and Alec tried not to jump, tried not to let the way Magnus' voice was cold and sharp affect him in any way.

 

Alec stood up, and turned to face him.

 

Magnus took one look at his face, and it seemed as though Alec had just confirmed something for him.

 

"I assume you'd like a portal, wouldn't want to be late to your own wedding."

 

He snapped his fingers and the portal appeared right beside Jace and Isabelle who after a moment of hesitation, and Isabelle turning to put something down on Magnus' dresser left them alone.

 

Alec didn't look away from Magnus.

 

"You should go before that closes," Magnus said and he was leaning casually against the wall studying his fingernails, but Alec could see the tenseness of his shoulders, could feel the tension in the air between them, tangible and blue.

 

Alec wanted to say so many things but what comes out instead is, "I have to do this."

 

"For your family, I know." Magnus retorted, and it didn't sound mean or bitter, just tired and sad, like he'd finally accepted that no matter what was going on between them, Alec was going to do this.

 

Alec thought back to Isabelle's question _, Do you love him?_

 

The answer to that should be no, of course not, it was too soon, and besides Alec couldn't let himself fall in love with someone he knew he'd never have.

 

It didn't stop the strange feeling in his stomach that swept all over when he was in Magnus' presence that Alec couldn't identify.

 

Maybe that's what falling in love is like. Maybe given the chance he could fall in love with Magnus.

 

Alec closed his eyes briefly, before looking back to Magnus who still hadn't moved from his spot.

 

"Magnus," Alec said softly and took a step closer. "Magnus I think I…"

 

"No," Magnus said sharply, cutting him off and finally pushing away from the doorjamb. "Don't make this more difficult than it has to be Alexander."

 

Alec just swallowed the words down, and reached for Magnus. Magnus came into his arms willingly, and he embraced Alec back, hands gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

 

Alec traced the rune for love across the skin Magnus' back and Magnus shivered in his arms, and Alec hated himself for not being strong enough to go for what he actually wants.

 

They part, and when Alec leaned down to kiss him one last time, just one last time, Magnus turned his face away, and Alec pressed a soft kiss on his temple, closing his eyes and inhaling his scent one last time.

 

He stepped back, and Magnus let him go almost as though he didn't want to.

 

Alec kept stepping back until he could feel the portal's energy.

 

"Bye Magnus," he said softly, heart tearing itself to pieces.

 

"Goodbye, Alexander."

 

He stepped through the portal.

 

***   

 

Alec was staring at himself in the full length mirror in Izzy's room and he was fidgeting with his cuffs.

 

He looked up at his reflection, and he could feel the teeth marks that Magnus had left behind on his shoulder that Alec couldn't bring himself to heal unlike with the hickies that had lined up his neck and along his jaw. Those had been a little too obvious.

 

Alec looked at his reflection, and tugged at the lapels of his jacket and didn't think about the way that the lapels of Magnus' jacket crumpled easily in his grip whenever he tugged the warlock in for a kiss.

 

If Alec closed his eyes and thought about it hard enough, he could still feel Magnus pressed all along his back, as though he was weighing him down, making sure he didn't go anywhere, his arm tucked around Alec's waist, fingers tucked into the waistband of his sweats, lips pressed to the back of his neck.

 

Alec opened his eyes with a groan and threw himself down in one of the chairs.

 

"You're gonna wrinkle your suit if you do that?" came an amused voice from the doorway.

 

Alec looked over, and found Clary standing in the doorway. She was wearing a beautiful green dress, and Alec could see how people who leaned that way would find her pretty.

 

She smiled sheepishly at him. "Isabelle said I could borrow a pair of shoes."

 

Alec made a go ahead gesture and Clary walked into the room closing the door behind her.

 

Alec was glad in a way that it was Clary who'd interrupted his moment because at least he wouldn't be interrogated.

 

After a few minutes of silence, Clary emerged Isabelle's closet with a pair of shoes.

 

She stopped not leaving the room and looked at Alec thoughtfully, Alec returned her look slowly raising an eyebrow.

 

"You know it's okay to be nervous," she started, but Alec cut her off.

 

"I'm not nervous."

 

She gave him a look as though he was proving the point she was about to make.

 

"That's all everyone feels before their wedding. Nerves, thinking that they're going to spend the rest of their life with the person that makes them happy. Thinking about those vows you'll have to make, in sickness and health til death do us part."

 

"Is there a point to this?" Alec asked feeling a little impatient, and almost scared as though Clary was bringing things up he hadn't even admitted he wanted to himself.

 

"Yes," Clary said passionately stepping forward. "Love isn't something you can plan for. It happens spontaneously, and before you know it, it's out of your control, and you're hurtling off the path you'd thought you'd follow all your life.

 

But Alec, When that person comes along and turns your life upside down and makes you feel things you thought impossible, you have to hold on to them. You have to at least give it a try because if you don't you'll regret it, because they'll be the best thing that's ever happened to you. They'll make you happy and sad, but it’ll be worth it, so worth it. Don't do something you're gonna regret for the rest of your life!"

 

She'd stepped closer and closer with every word, and punctuated the end of her speech with a finger in Alec's face.

 

Alec was seriously speechless.

 

Clary just nodded as though she'd accomplished something and stalked out of the room, shoes held in one hand.

 

Before Alec can even figure out what to do with any of _that_ , Jace was standing by the door looking expectantly at him.

 

"It's time," he said, but it sounded more like, this is your last chance to back out of this.

 

Alec stood up and tugged on his suit again.

 

"Let's do this."

 

Even to himself, his voice sounded unsure.

 

***

 

Alec could feel his heart thudding in his ears, and he could feel the bile rising in his throat, and he could feel that his palms were sweaty, and his breathing was a little unsteady, but it all felt like the beginnings of a panic attack.

 

When Magnus walked into the room, and Alec turned and saw him, it was as though all the pressure that had been building in his chest had been released.

 

His breath caught in his lungs and burned. He stayed frozen because he couldn't believe it.

 

After everything he's done, after how much he's _hurt_ him, after what happened last night, Magnus was right there standing in front of all these people looking at Alec, and pleading him with his eyes not to do this, not to give up on them before they even got the chance to be something.

 

Alec took several unsteady breaths, but couldn't seem to get his breath back.

 

_You lose your breath every time they enter the room._

 

You damn right I do, Alec thought, and with Jace jarring him back to the present, and Lydia's kind understanding eyes, Alec realized that he really couldn't go through with this. It was a mistake, the biggest mistake he would ever make and not because Lydia was a horrible person, but because Alec was falling in love with Magnus, and it wasn't fair to Lydia, and it wasn't fair to Magnus, and it wasn't fair to Alec.

 

So with Lydia's blessing, and Izzy's happy eyes encouraging him on and Jace's hand patting his back, Alec stepped down from the altar and walked towards his destiny.

 

Kissing Magnus in front of important members of the Clave was perhaps not the best idea he'd ever had, but it was worth it for the look on Magnus' face, the way he smiled when Alec had pulled away after giving in and kissing him over and over again.

 

The way he was smiling now, as he seemed to sway towards Alec saying, "Well, I have to hand it to you Alexander, you certainly know how to make a statement."

 

Alec grinned back helpless with it, there were feeling bubbling like champagne in his chest, and he could feel as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders

 

Alec's eyes dart down to Magnus' mouth, and he wanted to kiss him again, but he wondered if it was too soon. Too soon after he publically outed them in front of important members of the Clave.

 

Magnus of course didn't have the same qualms that Alec had, he stepped in close and kissed him before Alec could stop him, not that he would've stopped him. Alec was pretty sure his hands curling into the lapels of Magnus' jacket again were going to be used to tug him back in for a kiss if Magnus hadn't made the first move.

 

Magnus backed him up into the desk behind them, and tilted his head leaning against Alec heavily, until Alec sits back hard against the low desk, and Magnus grinned, before setting both hands on the desk on either side of Alec's thighs, and leaning down a smile on his face that Alec couldn't help but return.

 

Magnus pressed their smiles together, and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, until Alec was breathless and one of his legs was hitched on Magnus' hip, and his hands were under his suit jacket tugging on his shirt to get to the warm skin beneath.

 

He'd forgotten that they were at the Institute, but they were brought back to reality by a sharp hiss.

 

"Alec! That's enough!" Maryse's voice was sharp and cut through the air like a whip.

 

Alec had stiffened and pulled back immediately, leg dropping down to the floor, and he hastily too his hands out of Magnus' suit. Magnus took several seconds to come back to himself, and when he opened his eyes, they were that gold that only came out when he was doing powerful magic and couldn't waste energy holding up a glamour.

 

Magnus blinked several times before he got himself together, and stepped away from Alec, not looking at his parents as he stepped even further back to give them their space.

 

Alec's eyes didn't leave Magnus until he turned around, and only then did he remember that his parents were still standing in the room.

 

The smile faded from his face, and he turned to them.

 

Nothing they could tell him was going to make him regret his decision.

 

He'd chosen Magnus. It had probably been inevitable since the beginning. But one thing was for certain, now that he actually had Magnus, he wasn't planning on letting him go, not for anyone's sake.

 

***

 

Alec wasn't exactly sure what came over him.

 

It was a mixture of walking into the room, excited to see Magnus, to feel that thrill in his blood that always seemed to happen whenever he was near, maybe to give him a kiss hello since he was allowed to do that now, only to have all those feelings shrivel up and turn into a bitter taste in his mouth when he entered the room and saw Camille kissing Magnus.

 

He'd made that distinction clear in his head from the beginning. It wasn't only the way that Magnus tensed up immediately and looked up at him with wide scared eyes, just like he'd done when he'd thought Alec was going to leave him forever, for good.

 

It also wasn't just the fact that Camille had this smug look on her face as though she'd accomplished something terrible for her amusement.

 

It wasn't just the way Magnus tried to make it seem like Camille was just crazy and to not take her seriously.

 

Alec trusted Magnus, and more than that, with everything that's happened between them, he knew that Magnus wouldn't just give that up for a quickie with an ex.

 

He tried to act as though he was unaffected, and tried not to feel too much despair when Magnus seemed to take him seriously.

 

It wasn't until they were out scouting the perimeter by themselves, that Alec couldn't take it anymore.

 

All those feelings just built up in his chest, and there was one way for sure he knew how to let it out.

 

He turned Magnus around, and Magnus barely had time to exhale in surprise before Alec's mouth was on his. He lapped against his lips until Magnus parted his lips, and Alec pressed him back against a nearby flat surface.

 

If they died right now, or tomorrow, or fifty years from now, he didn't want the last person that Magnus kissed to be Camille he wanted it to be him, only him, for the rest of the foreseeable future. For the rest of his life.

 

He'd should've known that he'd be the jealous type. He'd been possessive of Jace and that had just been a crush.

 

Magnus managed to pull away with a gasp, and he panted into the night air, "What's gotten into you Alexander?"

 

Alec ignored the question and trailed his lips down to Magnus' throat, and bit down on the skin really high up, sucking against the skin harshly.

 

Magnus' hands were on his back under his shirt, warm against the skin of his lower back, shooting sparks of pleasure up his spine, making him forget everything. Where they were, why they were there, why it was important to be on guard, but all of those concerns faded into thin air, when Magnus dragged his mouth along Alec's jaw and nipped against his skin.

 

"Kiss me," he whispered it, low and intimate, and Alec didn't even bother trying to resist.

 

He kissed Magnus, and Magnus groaned against his mouth, and dug his fingers harder into Alec's spine.

 

He should've known better than to let himself be distracted.

 

The Circle members subdued them quickly and dragged them back inside of Camille's apartment, and maybe if Alec hadn't been distracted by Magnus, he would've been able to stop Jace from leaving with his father.

 

When Magnus placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed tight in sympathy Alec let himself take the comfort before steeling himself and giving the order to head back to the Institute.

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

***

 

Alec really doesn't think about it when he followed Magnus out of the Institute.

 

There had been something about Magnus' stare, something about the way he'd said, _I may be the High Warlock of Brooklyn but even I can't predict the future._

 

Alec had been thinking of nothing else, well, except Jace, but that was a simmering ever present problem for tomorrow morning.

 

Right now they wouldn't be getting anything done, and Alec was _tired_ and the last time that he'd gotten a good night's sleep it had been at Magnus' place.

 

He knew that maybe he should've mentioned all of this as he followed Magnus back to his apartment, but he kept his mouth shut letting the tension building in the air surrounding them.

 

They'd been walking side by side, long strides matching, almost in a hurry, almost as though there was this anticipation in the air.

 

Alec could feel it in the way their hands were barely brushing, as though he knew he'd give in and kiss him if he'd touched him.

 

Which was just ridiculous, Alec was stronger than this, and besides, they'd decided to take things slow.

 

He looked over at Magnus, and caught the warlock looking back at him, eyes thoughtful, and wide and almost _lustful._

 

He didn't seemed embarrassed at getting caught, he just smiled slow and easy and tilted his head, studying Alec.

 

Alec studied him back, and he could barely make out the mark on his throat where Alec had bitten him, and Alec felt the heat flush through his body and before he could think about it properly he was backing Magnus into the brick wall between a coffee shop and an old record's store.

 

Magnus tilted his head up and Alec met him half way.

 

Alec kissed him softly, slowly, feeling the shape of Magnus' mouth against his own, and Magnus let him, eyes fluttering shut, fingers digging into the collar of Alec's t-shirt snagging and exposing skin.

 

Magnus' breath hitched, and Alec breathed out, and Magnus' fingers tightened against his shirt.

 

He pulled back panting harshly into the night air.

 

His eyes were gold and wide and _wanting_ sparkling in the light of the lamp posts.

 

"We should really get to my apartment," Magnus suggested voice unsteady.

 

Alec agreed, but couldn't exactly find it in himself to pull away.

 

Magnus pushed him back a little and Alec stepped back a little letting go.

 

Magnus held out his hand, and Alec didn't hesitate before sliding his fingers across his palm and lacing their fingers together.

 

Magnus gave him another slow and sweet smile that he seemed to only ever direct at him and they started walking again.

 

They continued walking in silence all the way to Magnus' building door, where Magnus had waved them in fingers sparkling with blue gas flame, and they were silent all the way up the stairs, until Magnus apparently decided they were close enough to his apartment and backed Alec up against the wall right beside his door.

 

Magnus leaned in to kiss him and Alec leaned his head up out of reach, being teasing, or coy as Magnus called it.

 

Isabelle had given him one piece of advice once after he'd admitted that he was gay. _Playing hard to get always gets you everywhere. It drives guys crazy to want something that they can't have._

 

Magnus huffed and then pressed his sinful mouth to Alec's throat, and he sucked, and wrapped his fingers around Alec's biceps squeezing.

 

Alec felt himself go weak in the knees with the way that Magnus sucked against his neck, and pressed their hips together grinding against him in slow, sure circles, and sending sparks of magic through his fingers and up Alec's shoulders and to the back of his neck and down his spine.

 

Alec was a goner.

 

His knees buckled and he slid down a little, just enough for Magnus to slide their mouths together again, and this time it was all wet and heat, and Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist and pulled him in closer deepening the kiss.

 

Magnus made a noise that almost sounded like a purr, right at the back of his throat, and he pressed closer still.

 

Alec tilted his head leaning even closer never wanting this to end.

 

Someone cleared their throat loudly.

 

Magnus and Alec pulled away from each other slowly, looking in unison to the person who'd interrupted them.

 

Raphael was leaning casually against the other side of the door.

 

He looked absolutely unruffled and unimpressed, and like he'd been leaning there the whole entire time.

 

"Well, I was waiting to talk to you about our old friend, but maybe I'll stop by later when you don't have _Nephilim_ for company."

 

He said it like it was a dirty word, and threw an even dirtier glance at Alec, probably to do with the fact that he was a part of the group that let Camille escape.

 

He hissed something in Spanish too fast for Alec to catch as he walked pass them, but he did understand the word _idiota_.

 

Magnus just rolled his eyes, and turned back to Alec, "Come inside?"

 

Alec nodded his head not letting that interruption interrupt the mood that had been building between them all night, and led Magnus led him inside.

 

Magnus closed the door with a snap of his fingers, and Alec backed him up against it before it was fully closed.

 

Magnus made an appreciative noise at the back of his throat and kissed Alec back, hands sliding into the loops of his jeans and tugging him closer.

 

Alec's fingers slid into his hair, and he kissed Magnus, chaste nips, separating and bringing their mouths together again, over and over until Magnus has trembling in his hold, his fingers slack against Alec's hips, pliant in a way that told Alec he'd slide to the floor if Alec pulled away.

 

So he didn't. He pressed closer and kissed him deeper, and Magnus moaned and slid his hands up Alec's shirt rucking it all the way up to his armpits and sliding his hands across the exposed skin.

 

Alec leaned back pressing his forehead against Magnus and taking deep panting breaths.

 

"Magnus," Alec said roughly and breathless. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

 

Magnus tensed completely against him, and he was suddenly looking at Alec seriously. His golden green eyes were probing Alec's as though he was trying to read into his soul.

 

"Do you really mean that?" he said wonderingly, and Alec felt a stab of guilt that he'd ever made Magnus believe for one second that he didn't want him.

 

"Of course I do," Alec said earnestly sliding his hands down to cup Magnus' cheeks. "For a long time I thought that I knew what love was because I was in love with Jace. But then I met you, and you make me feel things that I've never felt before, and it's different in a good way, and I want to keep on feeling the way that you make me feel."

 

Magnus bit down hard on his lip as though he was preventing himself from saying something.

 

"That's good," he said looking a little dazed. "That's really good. Falling in love, I can work with."

 

Alec just gave him a perplexed look.

 

Magnus shook his head fondly at him.

 

"Stupid Nephilim, I'm already in love with you."

 

Magnus sealed the words with a  kiss that held the promise of many things to come.

**Author's Note:**

> i've read this over like ten times so if there are any mistakes please send them my way
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
